My Mumps (Sung to the tune of Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps")

MY MUMPS

(Sung to the tune of Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps")

(Inspired by ESU reports suspected case of mumps)

What infection makes you feel like junk,

Fever, achy, in a funk?

I don’t want food, my hunger’s sunk,

Doctor says I got the mumps,

The mumps, the mumps,

The mumps, the mumps, the mumps,

The mumps, the mumps, the mumps,

My salivary lumps.

Check ‘em out.

Feel gen’rally malaise-y,

I’m stayin’ at home daily,

Salt gargles help me nicely,

Can’t eat much more than ices,

Germs can spread from coughin’

Which I’m doin’ often.

Nurses come a carin’,

But contagion’s got ‘em wearin’ masks,

Everybody’s maskin’,

To keep the bug from passin’,

Parents had

Big religion

So no vaccine

Was I given

Tylenol I’m takin’

But still I keep achin’

My glands just keep inflatin’

No signs of it abatin’

Wear gloves, wear gloves, wear gloves, wear gloves,

So you won’t catch my mumps.

My mumps, my mumps, my mumps,

My mumps’ll get you

Her mumps are spreadin’

Oh, spendin’ my insurance money

Copays are not funny

Burn all the beddin’

Oh, get me to the doctor, baby

Feel crazy, crazy

What infection makes you feel like junk,

Fever, achy, in a funk?

I don’t want food, my hunger’s sunk,

Doctor says I got the mumps,

Coulda had this whole disease go past

If just got your vaccines

I’m a sit here with Nurse Maxine

Swollen glands make me scream

‘Cause of the mumps,

The mumps, the mumps, the mumps,

The mumps, the mumps, the mumps,

My salivary lumps.

Check ‘em out.

Lyrics © 2019 by Mike Pollock